Lets Play: A Guide to Intimacy

Want to have the best sex of your life? Then, don’t have it unless you are ready and have a partner that you care deeply about. Sex is not just the bump and grind. The physical mechanics of the sex act are not always all they are cracked up to be. Sexual encounters that lack the special ingredient of love can be very unsatisfying and unsettling. The participants of a casual, purely sexual encounter know they missed something and may not even be able to climax.

The best sex you will ever have is with someone you love. Then, you will achieve the physical and emotional union that will bring you satisfaction. It is that one-ness, that unselfish giving of pleasure and that look in the eye of your lover that are going to drive you to the best orgasms of your lifetime.

Have a partner you care about and not experiencing what I am describing here? It is really all in your head. Some key ingredients though are letting things flow, expressing oneself, giving selflessly and keeping life’s problems out of the bedroom. Have a headache? Then don’t say no! Bad day at work and your Sweetie is feeling arduous? Go for it! A little lovin’ is just what the doctor ordered.

Let’s go down the list. How do you let things flow? Say for example, you are doing something like washing dishes. Your partner comes up and plants a wet one on your neck. Yeah, it tickles. It also leads to another. What now? Finish the dishes, go to Walmart and mop the floor? Not on your life. Turn around and respond. Your interest in their offer of affection is a great aphrodisiac. Or, be playful and pretend you are shocked, or annoyed, and still lean into it. A little humor goes a long way. Loosen up and follow the lead. You won’t be sorry.

Giving selflessly starts with acknowledging the advances your lover makes. You don’t have to go overboard right away. You can let things build. Lovemaking starts in the morning with that first kiss and comes to fruition whenever you finally have sex later in the day (if there isn’t time in the morning!). Giving selflessly comes easily if this is the person you love. Kissing their toes, their calves, their nose seems appropriate then. Why? It feels right because you are expressing yourself and how you feel about them. It is not mechanical, it is not even meant to arouse. It is another way of expressing your feeling for them. Oh, it is sexy, and your partner will be aroused by any caressing that comes from the heart. And the fun part is they will return the favor in spades.

Once the fun begins, let your partner know how you feel. Some of us are more verbal in expressing our pleasure than others. A soft moan is an invitation to, “Do that again please.” Most lovers cannot read your mind. Sometimes we know what each other is thinking, but why take the chance here? Say what you are feeling. You don’t have to start talking dirty, unless you want to or you know they like it. Just give them some encouragement, something to go on. Get loud if you have to. Make sure that your loved one knows how much you enjoy sharing this with them. One of the best ways is to look them right in the eye during your lovemaking. You don’t even have to say the words and they know what that look means, “I love you and I love making love to you.”

Lastly, at least for today’s lesson, keep life’s problems out of the bedroom. Before, during and after sex keep the conversation light. The checkbook, the kids grades, car repairs, religion, war, whatever silly thing pops into your head leave it there. Don’t ruin the moment. You have just shared your deepest self and your body and soul with your lover. Honor the moment by leaving transient thoughts out of the mix. Give this your all, body, soul and mind. Keep it here, even in the afterglow, make this a special place in time for both of you.

Finally, cherish this part of your relationship. The oneness, the joy, the power of loving sometimes goes unrecognized. Don’t be immune to its impact. This is the connection that we crave with the one we love. Marinate in it. Let this moment sear itself into your consciousness and contribute more power to the next encounter. Don’t waste your time just having sex, make love to the one who inspires you to do so.

Susan Hoskins

For more writings by Susan, visit her blog at http://Suzika101.blogspot.com

In The News:


PEI guide for parents: 'healthy' for kids to masturbate, touch genitals of ... - Lifesite


PEI guide for parents: 'healthy' for kids to masturbate, touch genitals of ...
Lifesite
The 7-page guide, titled “Children's Sexual Behaviours: A Parent's Guide”, put out by the Provincial Child Sexual Abuse Advisory Committee, provides a standard for what experts consider normal sexual behaviour in children from preschool to grade four.

UF not responsible for drop in sexual health rankings - The Independent Florida Alligator


UF not responsible for drop in sexual health rankings
The Independent Florida Alligator
“Stanger-Hall and Hall discovered that the states with the lowest teen pregnancy rates institute 'abstinence-plus' sex education, ensuring that abstinence and information about sexual health and contraceptives are both covered,” PolicyMic stated.

Planned Parenthood wants preschoolers to know mechanics of sexual intercourse - Lifesite


Planned Parenthood wants preschoolers to know mechanics of sexual intercourse
Lifesite
“These are preschoolers. This is the sex education Planned Parenthood wants them to have—is fighting for them to have.” Jim Sedlak followed up with the scientific facts about how early sex education harms children by disturbing their sexual latency ...

and more »

Quality sex education vital for combatting rape culture - Scoop.co.nz (press release)


Quality sex education vital for combatting rape culture
Scoop.co.nz (press release)
To address this issue, Ms Walker has created a sex education programme called GET A GRIP teenz which aims to assist parents and schools to partner together to talk about sex in a healthy way and address abusive sexual behaviour head on, helping ...

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sex ed guidelines start at Year 1 - New Zealand Herald


sex ed guidelines start at Year 1
New Zealand Herald
Teachers of students as young as 5 will soon have access to new sexuality education guidelines addressing issues such as identity and relationships. The guidelines commissioned by Family Planning are designed to help teachers of students in Years 1 to ...

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